How Come?

How come?

The question I am loathe to hear from my husband.

How come?

How come the bed wasn’t made? How come there isn’t any cleaner in a spray bottle? (WTF???)

“How come” basically means my husband is saying “I never would have thought or done anything about it myself but I’d like to blame someone (meaning my wife) on whatever wasn’t thought of or done (disregarding, of course, all the tens of things that have been done around the house).”

Never mind that the bed has been made 99.9% of the time but on this day wasn’t for whatever reason…

And each time it’s said, I bore holes through his eyes (whether he’s looking directly at me or not).

The most annoying thing is that “How come” is always said with an air of dominance.

I used to confront my husband regarding these transgressions of mine. But that only made him feel even more superior.

What the question really is – is a trap.

If I answer that the bed wasn’t made because I had to leave early for an appointment, he would come back with – “What do you mean by early?” As he gets up for work at 4:15 a.m. So anything later than that, in essence, is clearly not “early.”

Likewise, if I said there isn’t any spray cleaner because I recently purchased several different cleaners – one in a bottle, let’s say, and one to be put on the end of a wand (those toilet scrubbers that I discovered are useful for EVERYTHING), I’d still me met with why isn’t there a certain cleaner that needs to meet his exact needs at that exact moment.

How come? How come?

Really, he’s not looking for an actual answer. Because, really, none would actually suffice. Any excuse or reason would be immediately brushed away, as nothing would be good enough to satisfy his question.

How come? How come?

I want to ask – How come you’re so skinny? How come you never decide on something until the last minute? How come you have the TV up so incredibly loud?

How come???